After my last blog post about removing toxic people from your life, I thought it would be equally beneficial to talk about those people who support you no matter what. For me, that really includes my entire family– parents, siblings, cousins, aunts, uncles, and grandparents– because I am blessed with an exceptionally supportive family. Throughout my entire journey, my family– all of them– have been there to support me in whatever way they could.
For the little cousins, it was a nice distraction for me from the seriousness of what I was battling. For aunts and uncles, it was prayers and perhaps a chat over coffee or ice cream, or gentle encouraging comments on my Facebook posts and pictures. For my parents, it was driving me to and from appointments, sitting with me at meals, supporting me in my panic attacks and emotional meltdowns, and putting up with my ugly side when I was doing exceptionally hard work in therapy and needed a place to let it all out. For my siblings, it was being a shoulder to cry on and an ear to listen, and constantly reminding me that I am first and foremost their sister, not Ed’s latest minion. And lastly, my grandparents (all four of them) would write me encouraging cards and give the best hugs, and when I needed someone to just accept me where I was and love me anyway, my grandparents, as well as all of my family, were there.
But just tonight, my one grandparent in particular reminded me of just how important it is to use my supports, and how far I’ve come. Mimi, as I call her, sat me down after dinner to remind me of all the good work I’m doing now and how far I’ve come, even since my freshman year of college. She reminded me of my skills and how they will serve me in the rest of undergrad, post grad, and in my career as a therapist, educator, and author. Mimi told me how proud she was of me for my strength, resilience, and unrelenting passion for using my experiences to help others. But most importantly, Mimi reminded me how unbelievably, unconditionally loved I am, always have been, and always will be. She reminded me that I deserve this love and all the good things that are happening in my life today.
With tears in my eyes, I hugged Mimi and retreated to my room to reflect. I needed to share this message with the world, because what’s true for me is also true for you in this case. You are good, and the work you do is good. You have come so far, even when it doesn’t always feel that way. You have skills unique to only you, and you will use them to make your own mark on this world, turning its flawed reality into something beautiful just because you were there. I am proud of your strength and resilience and your passion for whatever it is you want to do with your life. And above all, you are unbelievably, unconditionally loved. You always have been and you always will be. What’s more, you deserve this love and all the blessings in your life.
You are more than welcome to read this blog to remind yourself of all these things at any time. I also suggest that you reflect and determine if you have a “Mimi” in your life who can remind you too. My whole family has done this in their own unique ways for me countless times, and I could write a blog about any one of them. But today, since I just had the conversation with Mimi about 30 minutes ago, I chose her as my example.
Anyway, it is so important to be reminded just how special and amazing you are. Not only is it a confidence boost, it is essential to reinforce all the things you learn in therapy or in your daily life. I still lose sight of who I am sometimes, and my family always picks me back up and reminds me who I am and why I fight for recovery and my future. If your family isn’t a good resource for you, try building up a community of friends, or even just finding one person who makes you feel invincible. I guarantee that person is out there, waiting to remind you that you are absolutely, one hundred percent, amazing, and they love you more than you’ll ever know.