I sat in my dietitian’s office on the verge of tears. She had just informed me that I was still not at an appropriate weight for my age, height, and activity level. I was so frustrated– I had been eating according to my meal plan, only dancing when required (team practices), and even adding in some things like ice cream and french fries.
The frustration, however, was nothing compared to my sheer terror at the thought of gaining any more weight. I thought I would be miserable at my dietitian’s magic number. Every calorie seemed like a death sentence.
But then, I put on the weight. I continued to eat as my dietitian instructed and minimize exercise, and I eventually got up to the magic number– the number I was horrified to even think about just a couple of months before. Guess what? My world did not come crashing down.
Yes, I was initially insecure and uncomfortable. I looked at old Instagram pictures and yearned for my old body. I had thoughts of restricting and overexercising again, but this time, I chose not to act on them. “Let’s give this a shot” I thought to myself.
After some time at my new healthy weight, I discovered all the joys that come with being weight-restored. I felt strong, energetic, and happier than I had been in a long time. My head was clear again (no more brain fog!) and I became more social. The biggest shock is that I gained confidence in my body. I actually really liked the way my body looked at this weight that used to be so scary for me!
Yes, I do still have bad body image days. However, I know now that my body is exactly where it needs to be, regardless of how I feel about it’s appearance. I celebrate the good body image days and roll with the bad ones, but at the end of the day, I appreciate my healthy body for carrying me through this crazy thing called life.